is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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