You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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