i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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