Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
