Dual....:-)
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I can feel your judgement through the phone
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
