He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
