We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
