My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
