just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Randomize
