You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
