Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
