my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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