I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
