I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
