It's Friday. Sex?
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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