I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
