It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Randomize
