we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
