...so i touched it.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
