okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
