i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I think I am morally bankrupt
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize