She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
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