I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
