When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
