Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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