Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
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