It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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