weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
