i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
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