so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
