Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
