Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
