i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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