Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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