sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize