You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
The air taste purple.
Randomize