I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
