You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
