You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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