whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I understand Curling. That high.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
