i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
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