awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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