Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
