you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
