Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Randomize