And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
