How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
