Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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