Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
sarcasm needs its own font
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
