I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
