Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
