Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
