Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
