im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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