I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I love having hate sex.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
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