the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
