Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
