she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
