I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
