I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
