ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Randomize
