What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
