I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I've blown a few things in my day
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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