Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize