There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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