i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
