so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize