So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize
