You just made me feel so damn special
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
