you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
