:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
