I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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