hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize