It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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