Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
