Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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